Is my Mom crazy, or nice? An argument in two parts.

Mom

Is my mom crazy, or nice?  An argument in two parts.

Or:  The lost art of saying “Yes”

My mom celebrates a birthday tomorrow.

My mom is equal parts nice and crazy.

Evidence for my mom being crazy:

1. She is the youngest of 6 children.

2.  She once tricked her best friend into wearing a Santa Clause costume to school.

3. She had a Scottish terrier she named "Please"

4. One time, a crazy man ripped her dress off outside of a coffee shop.

5. Wild animals stalk her.  (This is true.  No one has ever seen a mountain lion where we live...but apparently when my mom goes walking, they stalk her.)

6. Family vacations had a 100% chance of my mom feeding an animal she was not supposed to feed.  Buffalo?  Check.  Bears?  Check.  Terrified children in the back seat of the mini-van?  Check.

7. One time, for NO REASON AT ALL (well, there may have been a reason...) she made me get out of the car and walk 1/2 a mile while on a road trip to Idaho.

8. One time, for NO REASON AT ALL (well...) she left my sister and I at a fruit stand in Fillmore.  (To be fair, she did come back to get us.)

9. She categorically cheers for whatever sports team rivals the family’s favorites.  Dad likes Dallas?  Mom likes Green Bay.  I like Lakers?  Mom likes Celtics.  It's cruel.  It's unusual.

10. She once got pulled over for speeding, then told the officer she was late bringing lunch back to co-workers, so she MADE HIM FOLLOW HER TO THE SCHOOL before she let him give her a ticket.  Terrified, the officer not only agreed, he drove off without writing her a ticket. 

11. She once forced me to watch both Anne of Green Gables AND Ann of Avonlea in one sitting.  I was 12.

12. She coached my junior-high basketball team.  She was ejected from a game.

13. She can no longer go on long walks without a chart of the nearest public restrooms.

14. She once forced me to wear a dress, put flowers in my hair, and took pictures of me.  I was 2.  This is the stuff that turns people into serial killers.  

15.  Once she ran over a squirrel with her bicycle.  That squirrel got caught in the spokes of the bike, and peed all over my mom. 

Evidence for my mom being nice:

1.  One time, after a late night of tee-pee raids, I told 8 friends they could come over and stay the night at my house.  My mom woke up to 8 strangers sleeping on her living room floor.  What did she do?  She made pancakes for everyone.

2. She throws a party (The Pumpkin Party) every other year for about 150 of her closest friends, family, and their children.  She dresses up as Pumpkin Head and lets the kids take pictures with her.  Seriously.  She turns her house into a theme park.

3. She let us build a house next door to her and Dad, knowing full well this would give her permanent baby-sitter status.

4. She will make dinner for a family member even if it is food she hates.

5. She doesn't have the ability to say "no".  (Unless the question is "Do you mind...?")

6. She tolerates my dad.

7. She tolerates me.

8. She tolerates our insane children.

9. My mom is the first person to sign up for bake sale, fundraiser, volunteer, PTA, coaching, costume maker, youth group leader, Awana junior high bus driver, camp counselor, booger wiper, diaper changer, lunch maker, bath giver, house cleaner, and any other horrible thing you can think of.

10. She brings food to an elderly couple that can no longer take care of themselves.

11. She used to make dinners every night for the one legged old man that lived next door.  (But, she made me bring it over.  CREEPY)

12. She goes shopping at Costco, and then gives us part of her loot.  "Do you want some macaroni and cheese?   We'll never eat all of this!"  (Mom, then stop shopping at Costco.  I think you're missing the point)

13. She will give our kids a bath, and then clean the kid’s bathroom at the same time.

14. She has sheds and closets full of "extra" stuff.  You need a dresser?  Here, let me strip, sand, and paint this extra one for you.  Tablecloths?  I only have 15. 

Summary: 

My mom is a "shoot first and ask questions later" kind of gal.  Consequences are something that happen after she has decided, acted, and looked around to see if anyone noticed. 

BUT!

My mom meets people’s physical needs in a way that is uncommon.

 "Suppose a brother or a sister is without clothes and daily food.  If one of you says to them, “Go in peace; keep warm and well fed,” but does nothing about their physical needs, what good is it?"

 I think most people think that good advice or a kind word is enough to make a positive impact on others.  But how many of them actually DO ANYTHING to help those around us? 

My mom does.

Happy Birthday, Mom!